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Listen to a Listener

July 22, 2006

Listening sketchI am a listener. It’s what I do. Friends, family and acquaintances talk to me, and I listen.

I didn’t decide to be a listener, but it’s the role I have found myself in. If you are quiet long enough in a conversation, people will talk to you. If you are a responsive listener, they relax and open up. The next time you meet them, they have mentally tagged you as a listener and will quickly talk at you.

Everyone loves a listener because everyone is so busy and caught up in themselves, that when they have something to say, it’s often difficult to find someone who is prepared to listen. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you listen to them.

So when people find a listener, they seize the chance to talk at him / her at every opportunity because us listeners are few and far between. Whereas most people find it difficult to find someone to properly talk to, listeners always have plenty of people to talk to, or more accurately, listen to.

Therein lies the problem for listeners. There are plenty who confide in us, but few we can actually confide in in return.

Apparently, nobody likes it when half way through a good moan they discover the listener has a problem of their own. When the roles are reversed, things suddenly get awkward.

This is frustrating for listeners because for us, listening is simple and perfectly natural – you just stand / sit there and respond to what the person is saying. However, this must be more difficult than it seems because a number of people cant grasp the idea of actually taking an interest in the views or problems of another person. Putting someone else before themselves.

What it boils down to is good manners and discipline. Those with bad manners and poor discipline are invariably bad listeners because they are completely self-centered egocentric people. If you have good manners and discipline then more often than not you will have more respect for other people’s views, which is key to being a good listener. If you don’t care what they think, why bother listening?

If I sound like I’m discriminating about who are good listeners, I’m not.

Being a good listener is not dependant on your race, nationality, faith, marital status, age, sex, IQ, wealth, job or quality-of-life. Being a good listener is dependant on who you are as a person. You decide whether to listen or not.

Everyone has the ability to be a good listener, and everyone needs to know a good listener to talk to, including listeners themselves.

Do you know a listener? Quite possibly. Do you know someone who you can talk to very easily, someone who makes you feel at ease, someone you can talk to at great length to, someone who is generally quite quiet and keeps themselves to themselves? If you do, then you know a listener.

If you are truly grateful to them, then do them a favour they might not realise they need – talk to them, and listen.

~ TranceFixed

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. July 22, 2006 10:28 pm

    Being a good listener is a rare skill, but one of high importance.
    Very well put, and a nice reminder to me to listen more.

    Thank you.

  2. July 22, 2006 10:37 pm

    I agree..rare skill.But even the one who is born a listener will close his/her ears when someone who talks has nothing interesting to say to keep you “in there”.
    My skill:Patience.

  3. July 22, 2006 11:02 pm

    Yesterday i had 2297.I was like:What?????!!!!!!
    Today,so far 1293.When the fever will stop i will feel so hurt.Lol!

  4. July 22, 2006 11:05 pm

    Hey,do you play on the xboxlive?

  5. July 22, 2006 11:16 pm

    Thanks for the comments 🙂

    @ c.trinity – I don’t play on XBOX live Im afraid. I do occassionally play FPS games online although I don’t get much time to these days.

  6. July 24, 2006 10:41 am

    Oh,ok.Thanks for the answer.Maybe you’ll get one day in there.

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